Saturday, June 12, 2010

The 16 Presidents of the Philippines--a historical satire



Satirical text version:


1ANDRES C. BONIFACIO (1896-1897) 
TUNAY na Unang Pangulo. Ayaw kilalanin ng mga elitista.

2.  EMILIO F. AGUINALDO (1897/98-1901) 
Orihinal na mang-aagaw. Berdugo 2x. Nagpa-onse sa mga Amerikano.

3.  MANUEL LUIS M. QUEZON (1935-1944)
Panahon ng Imperyalistang Kano. Pinataob si 'hero-killer' Aguinaldo sa Halalan 1935.

4. JOSE P. LAUREL (1943-1945)
Panahon ng 'Takot ako Hapon.'

5. SERGIO S. OSMENA (1944/45 - 1946)
 Hindi suportado ng Amerika ang pagtakbo noong 1946. Hindi nagkampanya kaya tumiklop kay Roxas.

6. MANUEL A. ROXAS (1946 - 1948)
Ginoong "Parity Rights." Aming likas na yaman ay inyo rin, Amerika!

7.  ELPIDIO R. QUIRINO (1948 - 1953)
Panahon ng Hukbalahap. Pinatalo daw ng Amerika noong Halalan 1953.

8.  RAMON F. MAGSAYSAY (1953 - 1957)
Care of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). Makataong "Amboy."

9.  CARLOS P. GARCIA (1957 - 1961)
  "Filipino First" policy. Period.

10. DIOSDADO P. MACAPAGAL (1961 - 1965)
Kalayaan daw ng bansa ay Hunyo 12, 1898.

11. FERDINAND E. MARCOS (1965 - 1986)
Diktator ng Martial Law. Pero medyo inayos ang bayan.

12. CORAZON COJUANGCO AQUINO (1986- 1992)
Santa de Santita. May "Kamag-Anak Inc."

13. FIDEL V. RAMOS - (1992 - 1998)
Nanalo DAW noong Halalan 1992. Salamat sa brownouts.

14. JOSEPH  EJERCITO ESTRADA (1998 - 2001)
Mabisyo. Pero may nasyonalismo, patriotismo, at populismo (maka-Masa). Biktima ng mga tampalasan at timang.

15. GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO (2001-2010)
Mangaagaw # 2. "Pangulo" ni Hello Garci at Ampatuan. Ang Pinaka.....   grrrrrrrr! Matagal nang hinihintay ni FPJ.

16. BENIGNO SIMEON AQUINO (2010 - ___) 
Automated Hello Garci a.k.a. HOCUS PCOS # 1. (?).  Aba eh, anong nangyari kay dilawang Gob. Rafael Nantes ?!?

_________

by Jesusa Bernardo

Also posted at SOBRIETY for the PHILIPPINES

7 comments:

baycas2 said...

Hi, I cited one of your articles over at Filipino Voices:

Dean de la Paz's blog post "Our Filipinas."

Jesusa Bernardo said...

OK, thanks baycas2, for helping articulate the case of our rightful hero, Gat Andres Bonifacio.

Ben Vallejo said...

Pangulo ng Katagalugan is Bonifacio hindi ng Filipinas!

Si Noynoy. Kung gusto natin ng satirika, pwede ito

P-Noy means President Noy! OK! Para sa mga Inglesero/a

Pe-Noy ay naman sa Presidente Noy!

Mabuhay ang PeNoy!

Jesusa Bernardo said...

Ben, these satirical name-call suggestions are from two related Facebook pages (not mine):

_____ "If Marcos was "Macoy," Aquino "Tita Cory," Ramos "Tabako," Estrada "Erap," and Arroyo "Ate Glo," what should we call Aquino II? PE-NOY for "Presidente-Encomiendero NOY or POTA for President Of The Archipelago?" The US Secret Service call their President POTUS (President Of The United States)."

Replies:

_____ BA-NOY Benigno's Anak Noy

_____ Pinakamaganda POTA

_____ My name for the PCOS is Mongoloid. Period! :-D

_____ ...how about, Tangoy? Tanga (si) Noynoy...Well, this, for me, is much easier to write and remember, so personally, I will start using this acronym.Serious, no toothie grin here, Les.

_____ POTA na anak nga POTA?

_____ OK. think. Anong tawag sa bulakbol na abnormal pa? Bulabnoy?

_____ PANOY para pinagsmang panot at abnormal..heheh

(For privacy concerns, I deleted the poster and commenter and I didn't include my suggestion)

Jesusa Bernardo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jesusa Bernardo said...

After the Katipuneros launched the uprising against the Spaniards, the "Great Plebeian" hero set out to transform the secret national organization into an open and de facto revolutionary government. The founder of the Katipunan became the president and formed a cabinet composed of men he trusted, including Emilio Jacinto, Secretary of State; Teodoro Plata, War; Aguado del Rosario, Interior; Briccio Pantas, Justice; and Enrique Pacheco, as Secretary of Finance...

Surviving official letterhead communications dated 1897 point to Bonifacio's various designations that include being the "Supreme President, Government of the Revolution." Perhaps the most telling proofs come from non-partisan sources of the period. Nineteenth century Spanish historian Jose M. del Castillo, in his 1897 writing "El Katipunan" or "El Filibusterismo en Filipinas," describes the first national elections in the Philippines from which Bonifacio emerged as the President, and Plata, Jacinto, del Rosario, Pantas and Pacheco as cabinet officials. This is corroborated by the February 8, 1897 issue of the international publication "La Ilustracion Espanola y Americana" in its article about the Philippine revolution and which featured an engraved portrait of "Andres Bonifacio, Titulado 'Presidente' de la Republica Tagala,"**** clad in a dark suit and white tie.

http://jesusabernardo.newsvine.com/_news/2008/11/29/2161186-gat-andres-bonifacio-the-anti-colonial-national-hero-of-the-philippines

Anonymous said...

a very good description of the reality of politics here i our country! you're brave!...
arroyo administration to pinoy... just a very big mistake, i guess... just a waste of time!...